Sunday, April 15, 2012

Prof. Rashid

As you might have figured out already, Falushtain is a nation of sophisticated intellectuals. Professors, musicians, philosophers, be they dead or alive, have all found a good home in this realm.
Dupa cum va imaginati deja, Falushtainul este o natiune de intelectuali sofisticati. Profesori, muzicieni, filozofi, fie ei morti sau vii, si-au gasit cu totii caminul pe acest taram.

A while ago, I introduced to you Prof. Basil, the die-hard erudite tutor. Now is the time for you to meet one of Basil's closest friends, Prof. Rashid.
Acum catva timp vi l-am prezentat pe Prof. Basil, meditatorul erudit si greu de ucis. Acum este timpul sa-l cunoasteti pe unul din cei mai apropiati prieteni ai lui Basil, si anume Prof. Rashid.
Actually, time or no time, his fame can hardly be contained any longer. His knowledge of ...well, everything, his accessible but highly informative style of writing, as well as his legendary good looks have made him known all over the world.  But let me talk about each in turn.
De fapt, fie ca e timpul sau nu, faima lui nu mai poate fi stavilita. Cunostintele lui in materie de...pai, cam orice, stilul informativ dar accesibil in care scrie, precum si frumusetea lui legendara l-au facut cunoscut peste tot in lume. Dar sa vorbesc despre fiecare pe rand.

Born in Calcutta, India, Rashid grew up speaking three languages. Sometimes all at once, much to the confusion of his parents, who were in awe of his precocious linguistic intelligence. Recognizing their son's potential, they sent him to Falushtain, to the Kindergarten for Freaks and Unusually Clever Kids (K-FUCK, as it is more commonly known). This penchant for multitasking did not leave young Sheik; he read 3-4 books at once, went to 2 high-schools at the same time and obtained three PhD's. Just because he could. One from the University of Sorbonne, with the paper The Philosophy of Punctuation; One from the University of Uppsala, with the paper Separation Anxiety in the Marauding Nations of the North; and one from Cambridge University, for his invaluable research work into Coulrophobia.
Nascut in Calcutta, Rashid a crescut vorbind 3 limbi. Uneori pe toate deodata, spre confuzia parintilor sai, care erau uimiti de inteligenta lingvistica precoce a fiului lor. Recunoscand potentialul copilului, l-au trimis in Falushtain, la Gradinita pentru Ciudati si Plozi Deosebit de Destepti. Inclinatia lui spre multitasking nu l-a parasit  pe micul Sheik  nici in anii ce au urmat; citea 3-4 carti odata, a mers la 3 licee in acelasi timp, si a obtinut 3 doctorate.  Numa de-aia. Unul de la Universitatea din Sorbona, cu lucrarea Filozofia Punctuatiei; unul de la Universitatea Uppsala, cu lucrarea Anxietatea de Separare la Natiunile Invadatoare din Nord; si unul de la Universitatea Cambridge, pentru munca sa de cercetare in domeniul coulrofobiei.

Of course, he was made for a brilliant academic career. He has received honorary degrees from pretty much every university that matters in this world. But even if he is an expert in a great variety of fields, his main specialty remains psychiatry. He has written many books on the topic, his latest one being Common Mental Disorders of the Modern Age, published in 2012. 
Desigur, Rashid era facut pentru o cariera academica. A primit titluri onorifice de la toate universitatile care conteaza in lumea asta. dar desi este un expert in multe domenii, specialitatea sa principala ramane psihiatria. A scris multe carti in acest domeniu, cea mai recenta fiind Tulburari Mentale Comune in Era Moderna, publicata in 2012.
Other titles from his prodigious bibliography include The Truth About Lunatics; Psychoanalysis for Dummies and The Undead Psyche, published in 3 volumes: The Psychological Profile of Zombies, The Psychological Profile of Werewolves and The Psychological Profile of Vampires.
Alte titluri din prodigioasa sa bibliografie ar fi Adevarul despre Lunatici, Psihoanaliza pentru Idioti, si Psihicul Nemort, publicat in 3 volume: Profilul psihologic de Zombie, Profilul psihologic al Varcolacului, si Profilul psihologic al Vampirului. 

He now holds a permanent position at Brian May University in Falushtain, where he teaches Chomskyan syntax, Oriental Studies and Klingon language, and researches the reproductive mechanisms of cuddlecreeps. He also travels extensively in order to promote his books and hold seminars and workshops on various topics of widespread interest.
Acum Rashid are un post permanent la Universitatea Brian May din Falushtin, unde preda sintaxa chomskiana, studii orientale si limba kligoniana, si cerceteaza mecanismele de reproducere ale creaturilor numite cuddlecreeps. De asemenea, calatoreste mult pentru a-si promova cartile si pentru a tine prelegeri si ateliere pe teme de interes public.
As for his looks...well, ladies, you can judge for yourselves. He is not quite a spring chicken anymore, but the few wrinkles he has only add character to his exotic face. Words such as "hunk", "steamy" and "I definitely would" are often heard whispered in the back of rooms where Rashid may be holding a lecture. 
Cat despre cum arata...doamnelor, puteti judeca si singure. Nu mai e chiar un fecior, dar cele cateva riduri pe care le are au adaugat caracter chipului sau exotic. Cuvinte ca "bine facut", "fain" si "sigur ca as" se aud adesea soptite in spatele incaperilor in care Rashid mai tine cate o prelegere. 
All in all, Prof. Rashid is a true Renaissance man, a highly accomplished citizen of Falushtain, who makes his country proud. If he were to run for mayor next elections, I think I might vote for him...
In concluzie, Rashid este un adevarat om al Renasterii, un cetatean plin de success al Falushtainului, care isi face tara mandra. Daca ar candida la postul de primar la urmatoarele alegeri, cred ca s-ar putea sa-l votez...

1 comment:

...tiktakro... said...

You kill me, girl ! awesome!!....I'm still laughing :))...